Since recently/currently my son is my ultimate priority, because of that new simcard and the invention of unlicalls, the no. 1 place on my priority list is in DANGER. And it's because him. Everyday when everything's alright in my world and when I'm in a mood to think of those should-be-forgotten feelings, I let my self think of him. And of happy ever afters again.
But then, at the end of the day, when something came up, something that would remind me of more doubt and hate, everything would fall into it's RIGHT place. In reality. I'm being woke up by those hateful feelings again. And started thinking of regrets. Regretting buying that new sim, and regretting having communication with him once again. And I'll be with my new sulky self again. Death of ever afters again. Thrown into reality again. Hate.
I haven't learned all my lessons. I know. Still immature. And with him, I cannot move on and have that life I deserve. Life of no regrets. Life full of love. Alone with Eros. And no heartaches everyday.
I have the CHOICE. I can freely let myself go... I know, what my mind tells me to do is the RIGHT thing to do, but...
WHEN WILL I LEARN?
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