FRESHMAN.
...for that 1st year i usually go to school EVERYDAY. no absences, no tardiness. i remember i have such a 'weird' attitude when it comes to dressing up. black clothes. black & red eyeliner. my stuff that first year..c; i miss those. all the weirdness.
LESSON LEARNED: it's ok to be THAT unique. no one would try to accuse you of being a copycat. bwahahaha.
non grabe, wala akong bagsak na grades. except college algebra & physics. i felt like a retarded when it comes to those subject. grr. (never wanna repeat those na).
LESSON LEARNED: because of the present nursing curriculum nasayang lang yung 1st year namin na under pa kami sa college of arts and sciences. but wait, there's more. why study algebra and physics when it has no connection to your chosen course?
i always want to be with no one. i found great happiness in myself. alone. with my own thoughts for my mind only. c:
but i could be good company. syempre naman. who isn't? i found great friends naman that year no.
heheh..after school when there's nothing so much to do i would run to my room, wear my favorite clothes, and run to the nearest mall to play in WOF. i remembered how im so excited playing House of the Dead and watch with satisfaction as people began crowding beside me to watch me play. i so LOOOOVVE being gazed upon with awe and admiration.anyway, tapos ko na laruin yun and nagsawa nako sa walang humpay na pagmamaster at pagka-ubos ng 1week allowance sa isang araw.
i could spend 1k just playing in WOF. but then, tuwing pumupnta ako sa WOF i always spend a minute goggling my eyes at the pump it up nx dance revolution machine. hindi pako marunong non..and now because marunong na ko i thank god for the times i spent na tinititigan ko mga sumasayaw dun. watching their moves.
LESSON LEARNED: it's ok to be alone and FREE to do anything you want. as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone. minsan magsama ka naman ng iba kasi para ka ring tanga tingnan. c: besides, pag sanay ka na laging may kasama anytime anywhere, bka di mo na magawang magisa kailanman.
dahil sa gastador kong ugali, nakaranas akong hindi lumabas ng dorm at maghapon magdamag kumain ng oats.
LESSON LEARNED: save for rainy days. budget! magtipid! keep an account of your income & expenses! malay mo nahulugan kna ng 500 taz di mo na napansin kahit kailan!
then i met the love of my life.
ai nako ang masasabi ko lang, BAD INFLUENCE sya. he's like a drug na di ko maalis-alis sa system ko. unti-unti, i went through a lot of situations na noong una di ko napapansin na ang self-esteem and self-respect ko nawawala na. and here i am. a near failure.
for that time na we're together i experienced how to HATE so much, un tipong 1st time ko maka-feel ng sobrang hate na lahat kaya kong magawa to GET EVEN. did a lot of BAD things because of that hate. it's what love can do to us when it's TOO MUCH. abusive. love. hate. im so SCARED of what i could do to get even pag inabutan ako ng hate.
LESSON LEARNED: wag na muna mag-aasawa ng maaga. piliin mo yung taong mahal ka at nagtyaga sayo kahit na sabihin mo pa sa kanila na hindi mo sila mahal. it's stupid to hate and do what it takes to get even, because in the end IKAW DIN ANG MASASAKTAN. and it will haunt you to the death. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. too much love will kill you. TRUST. if that's broken then it will never come back. c:
LET GO, if you have to. sometimes love deceives us..and if you won't then it's too late. you can't be free forever. a prisoner of love.
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